This website is very much like my journal and I tend to share things here that I may not share with just anyone. There is something comforting and protective in sitting behind the screen of a laptop and talking about the things in my life that feel like they are bubbling over.
I suppose that is part of the reason I became a writer. You are alone, pouring out your heart and soul onto a blank canvas and then you get to decide if anyone gets to see your creation.
I posted earlier about the isolation and turmoil 2020 has brought and for me, it gave me the benefit of time to work on a new project, which I am now in the process of editing. But it also brought quiet reflection, allowing issues and questions to surface I thought had been lain to rest. Issues with regard to relationships, marriage, and the difficulty in trying to have a family and coming to terms with the reality of not being able to. It was big stuff. Stuff that, in these quiet moments, I realized I had not truly faced over the years. I had written about them here and there, never really addressing them, but this year something was calling to me. I needed to create something that could commemorate the battle that waged within me. To feel every aching moment, to be rocked and capsized by it; and the sheer weight of the day to day, professional, measured. Unbroken.
How easily caught up in going through the motions I found myself. Then how unmooring it was to suddenly… Be. Quiet.
This year, for me, one of those creations was the compilation of some of the letters and poems posted on this site, along with some non-fiction stories and other pieces I had written over the past couple of years.
These past couple of years have been challenging in many different ways and I found some solace and resolution in being able to put them down in writing.
Writing the pieces in For The Quiet was melancholic and purposeful. I meant every word I wrote, and every word I didn’t.
The editing process was challenging, as it usually is. I had by my side my trusted friend, Anil Kamal, who treated the work with care and respect.
I second guessed myself a lot when considering letting everyone in on these intimate pieces of me. With the encouragement of my wonderful support network, I found the resolve to put this collection out into the world.
In the end, and in writing this post, I can say that For The Quiet brought me a level of catharsis I don’t know I would have otherwise experienced.
I hope it brings you some quiet moments of reflection.